Talofa Lava this week I have been using a range of language features to help make my writing more descriptive. Some language features we have been talking about are similes, metaphors, personification and onomatopoeia.
This is some of my writing from this week.
I can feel the hot breeze surrounding me and my skin was glimmering like a car that was washed. The beaming sun was making me sweaty and dizzy and I can’t talk that much when I was dizzy. The sounds of babies crying out loud made me very tired that I went red and said shush! I was so angry that I was gonna explode like a ticking bomb tick tock tick tock BOOM! Then suddenly people had conversations about me how I looked like a blob fish. Well I heard the birds tweeting like the birds tried to make a melody true song but the song was a little bit nice. While I was jogging or walking i got happy because the birds song was lovely and made me realize I can have anger or any emotions. The crowd around me made made me tempting to defuse the bomb to make me happy or let the bomb explode so I get angry and rage because of kids stepping on the back of my shoes. So I picked to get angry and rage. I can taste the hot spicey beef, octopus, and squid. The sounds of the drinks was fizzy. When I drunk the fizzy drink it made me shake and tears came out of my eyes.
Pls give me some feedback
Hi Raden,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your writing. The simile about your skin glimmering like a car that was washed made me think of beads of water on a car. Maybe you could add detail to this simile by saying my skin was glimmering as beads of sweat formed like a car that was washed.
From Miss Fortes
Hi Miss Fortes thanks for commenting on my blog you were one of the first people that commented i will to that later Bye Bye.
ReplyDelete